I’ve been working on my own button for my site but I don’t think I like how it came out. I might start over. I want my button to represent some sort of aestetic that will be mirrored with my site but there isn’t much of an aestetic so far. I feel conflicted working on this site sometimes with what I want to accomplish designing it. I’ve been super inspired by the melankorin site. I wish I could come up with my own ideas rather than just copying somebody else though. I want something truely unique. Maybe a good place to start would be with a color palate and just design a site around that? I’m thinking out loud but I don’t knowwwwwwwww it doesn’t matter in the long run but yeah :/

I like computers. That is kind of my entire personality, a special interest. So I should make a site themed around computers right? But I don’t know it just feels kinda lame to do that. So many people have done the Windows XP desktop theme that it’d feel overused to do it with my site. I don’t normally overthink like this so it is kind of overwelming for it to be happening to me.

Sometimes I feel like I have no personality. No hope or dreams, nothing I really want to accomplish in life, no passion to do much of anything. I think I said this once before but I feel like an NPC in my own body which is a strange way of putting it but that is how I’ve been feeling as of late. All I do is sit in my room, writing here, watching youtube, texting my few friends and playing video games. Sometimes I go to work as I do have a job. But I have nothing to strive for. I’m not saving up money for a house or a car or anything that would move me up in life. I pretty much just spend it on food and rent. I wonder if the reason I want to work on this site so badly is because it gives me some sense of purpose? It’s a pretty sad existance I live. I don’t know when things will change. Maybe when my parents kick me out of the house I will be homeless, sitting on a curb, typing here like I am now. Working full time destroys my mental state fast I don’t know if I will ever be able to do that. I don’t like owning a lot of things because of my fear of ending up homeless. But of course when I tell people that I just say it’s because I’m a minimalist which I am but for all the wrong reasons. It’s only 6:00 and I have already typed all of this lol.

Currenly learning Jekyll and holy fuck it’s going to make everything so much easier once the site is running with Jekyll. I wish I knew about tools like this earlier. I’m too tired to keep working on this though I am going to go to bed soon. I’m excited to start rewriting the site with Jekyll in mind though.

Was woken up by my workplace calling me. I had to come in ASAP to sign some stuff because they’re selling the business there and there is a law that states that when selling a business all employees must get their last paycheck from that business owner within 48 hours. Either way it was annoying. I got home and my sister says I have to watch her because my parents just left without telling me after I left to go to my work. I just want to sleep…