I woke up around an hour before I had to work. I’ve been feeling kind of sick these past 2 days so it was a bit rough. At work this older lady was trying to talk to me and I double-tapped my earbud to pause what I was listening to so I could hear her. For some reason she mimics this gesture and this really ticked me off to the point of it bothering me even hours after it happened. Now every time I go to pause what I’m listening to this small thing enters my mind like some sort of brainworm. I don’t know why I’m so sensitive to such a small insignificant thing like this but :/

Work was busy which is unusual for this time of year. I was in a seriously depressed mood for almost my entire shift. I just feel so isolated out here and I miss when I could actually go places. I hate having no freedom just because I don’t have a working car. I want to be anywhere except here. I feel like I’m losing my mind out here and this has been my life for the past year and 3 months. I genuinely do not understand why anyone would want to live out here by choice. I’ll probably be stuck living with my parents out here forever with how the housing market is looking with no signs of improvement. The feeling of dread and hopelessness is overwhelming sometimes.